So I am definitely enjoying my time in Japan. I've been eating loads of food and walking more than my feet can bear. It's funny. I have felt more comfortable these past 2 days in Japan than I felt in Korea after living there for almost a year. I almost feel normal here. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy Korea. But it is as if I lose myself there. Like I'm not quite sure who I am in certain ways. Though living there has helped me appreciate certain things loads more.
I am ready in a way to start my life. Korea hasn't felt like an extension of life. It has kind of felt like my life was put on pause for a year and will resume in a few months. I do enjoy my job. I enjoy the people I have met. I have made some amazing friends that I wish I could bring home in my suitcase. I know there are those friends who I will continue to keep in touch with even after I return to the states. But I also feel as if I am on a vacation from life and I don't like it. I've said it before, but it almost feels like I am playing a teacher instead of being one. I do work hard, and it has paid off. But I can only do this here. I can't go home and teach. I also feel lacking as I search for jobs back home because I have so little experience. It is daunting to look at job postings because I keep asking myself "Am I qualified?" And I'm afraid the answer is a resounding "No."
I have enjoyed my experience abroad so far but I can definitely say I will not do this again. Not under the circumstances I am in. Being in a committed relationship is hard enough. Add being 7000+mi apart and things at times become unbearable. Especially when you are used to being with that person almost every day. Lately I have become so emotional that the smallest things can set me off into a crying mess. Seeing couples walk hand-in-hand down the street makes my eyes water. Wacthing what has been some of my favorite shows "Bridezillas" and "Platinum Weddings" causes the tears to flow.
All in all there are just so many reasons I am ready to return home. Friends, family, school, jobs...sometimes it all seems overwhelming to think about. So my goal is to enjoy what time I have left here, save as much money as possible and keep the waterworks to a minimum...I hope...