Friday, June 13, 2008

Late night musings...

So after another 2+ hour conversation with my boyfriend I have once again learned the great concept of compromise. Sometimes being in a relationship where you and the other are from completely different cultures can make things very difficult and a tad confusing. Especially if there is a slight language barrier. There are times when what my boyfriend says just throws me for a loop and I sit staring at him or the phone wondering "what in the hell???" And there are other times, like a few days ago, when instead of just telling me something straight out he will talk in circles leaving me at 'Z' when the true meaning of it was somewhere just shy of 'F'.

There are other times when he knows that he has totally confused me and without me saying anything he scrambles with a "wait, don't think, let me say it another way" or when he is unsure altogether and I tell him in his own language to just spit it out.

And then there are times when I can look at him and see when he is mad, upset or flat out bored or when he looks at me he can tell my thoughts are running in circles through my brain. We don't completely understand each other, he is a fairly traditional Vietnamese man and I am a pretty untraditional African-American woman, but that's what makes it fun. Crazy, with a bit of a headache thrown in, but still fun. And even before the end of the day it is definitely worth it.


My name is Joy said...


I have much experience dating people of another race. I dated a man from China for 4 years and lived with him for 2.5 of them. We definitely had communication errors. But in general just keeping a relationship with anyone going is a task in itself.

I too experience the thing where the guy takes forever to say exactly what he is thinking. But I have found that with enough patience he will get around to telling me. Basically since language isn't his first language he feels he needs time to put his thoughts into English...which makes sense...still a girl doesn't like to wait! Anyways goodluck and all!

Kuri said...

Thanks Joy! Yeah sometimes it is difficult but life always is of course. I've dated lots of guys another race too. My ex was from Japan and left to go back home to Japan but we remained friends and occasionally exchange emails.

It is a little more difficult now in that I speak Japanese so before we could go back and forth but I speak VERY little Vietnamese so explaining things out now...heh, a bit difficult. But I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Plus I think my mom likes my boyfriend more than I do=^^=

Why am I here??? said...

But despite all of that, it's worth it!!!

I feel the same way with Sung Hyun......and he couldn't speak a word of English when I first met him. We've come a long way since then....... and your boy are so cute ;)