Thank you...

...to those of you who offered advice rather than judgements. I don't know what I will do. I don't believe I am ready for anything at this point...regardless how strong I try to be. This is the last time I will mention anything like this on here. Hopefully once I get my new camera battery I can resume posting about any sights I may see or fun activities I do.

Good luck everyone

Breakups feel like...

...your heart is on fire.

I never really post my feelings on here. I usually keep them to myself or talk to close friends rather than put them out here so they can be analyzed, trampled on or judged. Despite what may be percieved as a flippant attitude my true feelings are anything but.

I find myself short on patience...for everyone. Even people that I love who I never had a problem with now irk me. I've been short tempered with my students. Had a particularly awesome blow-up on Tuesday with my elementary students. I find myself looking upon other couples with disgust and envy and longing for what I once had. My phone rings and I wish like mad that it was Anh calling, telling me that he wants to rethink and...maybe just start talking to work things out. To be there when I step foot back in the country. Just knowing that when I get off the plane his smiling face won't be there kills me. I've cried myself to sleep nearly every night. I can't sleep until the sun comes up. Either I don't eat or I eat too much.

Yes, I feel guilty for even thinking of going on this blind date. I almost call it off everytime I think about it, regardless of what my friends say....

...it scares me to actually write all of this where people can see. But it is my blog and this is where I can put things out there. All I can say I guess is that breakups are tough for a variety of reasons. Good luck to everyone out there who is dealing with it as well...

My New Haircut...

Usually when something big happens in my life I get the urge to re-invent myself in some way. This time is no exception. So I decided to cut my hair and bangs. Hope you guys like!!!

Life...

...goes on.

So I have been dealing with life after the breakup. I have my moments where all I think about is...Anh. But I have to try to move on.

So speaking of moving on...I have a blind date on Saturday. It was set up by a coworker of mine. I talked to the guy and he seems really nice so we will see how things go. Apparently the blind dating thing is pretty common here in Korea. It is common to be set up by parents or friends with the intention of marriage. Now don't get any ideas. That's not why I am going. Marriage is no longer close in my mind, but I suppose I will have to get out there and figure out this whole dating outside of college/high school thing. Might as well do it now...so we shall see how things go...

As They Say...

I suppose I just have to pick up and keep truckin' along. It sucks, it hurts...but I know it will for some time. I honestly didn't see it coming. Especially with me only having 2months left in my contract...

Now I just have to focus on working as much as possible, working out, getting everything ready for grad school. And decide whether or not I will take a 3 month break, defer grad school for a year and come back to Korea to teach another year, or go home for good and straight into grad school. My family is pushing of course for me to come home for good but it is my choice. I have to decide what's best for me...

...I wish he was here to help me decide...

...

He left me...I don't know what to do. It happened too fast...I just feel dead inside